双语阅读：英语小笑话四则
时间：2017-01-25 14:06:32
来源：平和英语村 作者：平和英语村
一、无聊透顶
Considering bleaching my teeth
想想漂白我的牙齿吧
Considering getting an eye lift...
想想做个眼皮拉皮吧……
Considering acknowledging the fact that we all get older, and that death is an undisputed fact...
想想承认我们都会变老，死亡是一个无可争议的事实吧……
二、倘若
If only
If only
倘若
A man is driving up a steep,narrow mountain road .
有个男人驾着车沿着一条又陡峭又窄小的山路往上开。
A woman is driving down the same road .
有个女人沿着同一条路往下开着车。
As they pass ench other ,
当他们彼此错车时，
the woman leans out of the window and yells"PI!!"
这个女人斜靠着车窗向外太喊：“猪！”
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH！！"
这个男人立刻也斜靠着他的车窗向外大声响应：“臭女人．！”
They each continue on their way ,
他们各自继续开车上路，
and as the man ronds the next corner ,
当这个男人绕到下一个转弯处的时候，
he crashes into a pig in the middle of road .
他竞撞上了在路中央的一只猪。
If only men would listen.
倘若男人会听话就没事了。
三、都在这一家
All In the family
All In the family
都在这一家
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school .
八十岁大的 莎莉从学校把她的成绩报告卡带回家。
Her marks were good mostly .
她的成绩不错，
A's and a couple of B'S .
大部分都是A，还有几个B。
However ,her teacher had written across the bottom,
可是， 她韵老师在卡片下方写道：
"SALLY is a smart little girl,but she has one fault,
“莎莉是个聪明的小女孩，但是她有一个毛病。
she talks too much in school.I have an idea I am going to try,
她在学校太爱讲话。我有一个想法我要来试试看，
which I think may break her of the bad habit."
我认为．这个想法可能会让她改掉这个坏习惯。”
Sally's dad signed her report card,
莎莉的爸爸签了她的学习报告卡，
putting a note on the back ,
并在卡片背面注记：
"Please let me know if your idea work on SALLY
“如果你的想法对莎莉很有效，请你让我知道，
because I would like to try it out on her mother."
因为我想要把它试用在她妈妈身上。
四、忠实的猫
Faithful Cat
Once upon a time ,a woman had a faithful cat.
从前有 个妇人有一只忠实的猫。
And one day,a guy ran over the cat with his horse drawn carriage.
有一天，有个人用他的马车将猫辗死。
So,the man went to the old woman and said,
因此，这个人就去找这位老妇人说：
"I am terribly sorry about your cat.I'd like to replace him."
“我对你的猫感到非常抱歉，我愿意代替它。”
"That's so nice of you!" said the old woman,deeply touched.
这位老妇人深深地感动说：“你真好心呀！”
"So how good are you at catching mice?"
“你抓老鼠的功夫很棒吗？”
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